Omicron: The Next Frontier
It kind of just rolls off the tongue.
I mean, supposedly that’s how it’s transferred— it rolls off the tongue then the other guy gets it.
What’s being referenced here is the name, Omicron, not the sickness.
Omicron? No, it’s not German. It’s a germ, man, which sounds an awful lot like a corporation and could potentially represent the untapped market of rights to sick names.
Rights To Sick Names?
It seems we’ve finally come to terms with our distaste for the corporate world by naming sicknesses and diseases homogeneously.
When asked about the newly acquired, Omicron, CFO Ima Shiverin said, “It’s too late for Influenza, Pocks, Measles, and Covid — all those “sciencey” names were already taken and Delta, well, that’s an airline but we got Omicron damn it!” — thrusting his arms up in victory.
And Hurricanes, Too
We mustn’t forget the potential for naming weather— following in suit — corporate weather monickers and trademark names like Hurricane CFO Wendy Breeze and Tropical Storm VP of Sales Tara N Shall.
“This market is wide open right now, ripe for the picking and we’re going to pluck it for all it bears!” said the newly elected president of Hurricron, the first hurricane trademarking firm — equating the weather naming industry to “fruit money”.
Their corporate slogan:
Like our money and most storms— hidden mostly offshore — we like to appear as a possible threat but rarely do much in terms of effect.
Company Bonuses
The great thing about naming sickness/disease like it’s a corporation is when a new strand arrives you can treat it like a subsidiary, branching it off and giving it a new corporate-esque name like Cromtech or Abercron B with Twitch, or the subtle, Blood Sucker Inc., but still seated underneath the same parent umbrella. The same applies to storm developments.
For all those wanting stock, no worries. You’re fine, as long as you get in on the ground floor when IPOs are affordably priced for anyone, vaccinated or not.
Symptoms May Include:
- a loss of energy
- nausea
- dry mouth
- sweaty palms
- can sometimes cause diarrhea
the preceding symptoms reflect the normal health of a corporate employee
